Funnies from Insurance Claim Forms

Our selection of the funniest things written on claim forms

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind".

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought".

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket".

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were-
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn.
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo.

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard".

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly braked".

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight".

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car, but I would not have asked her to drive if I had thought there was any risk".

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

"Windscreen broken. Cause unkown. Probably Voodoo".

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother in Law and headed over the embankment".

"I was on my way to the Doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident".

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have".

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident".

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car".

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal".

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him".

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